Love

Lately I've simply been filled with love. For myself, for Bear, for the Gods, Life itself... Even school and the path I've chosen in general. Before, I didn't really know what to do with my life but now I have tons of plans and dreams. I feel strangely... Full. You know, I'm not even pissed off at my dad anymore. I see him more clearly now, his insecurities and everything that has led to this point. He has problems with social interaction, I really noticed it the last time he visited. He changed the subject even more often than I do (which is OFTEN, as people who've known me for a long time know very well), there's something off about him. But it's okay. Even though he hasn't always been much of a real father for me, he isn't a bad person. No one is, I think. People just have their own stories. I think I've simply forgiven myself and others. Yes, I do still have my bad days, but overall... I don't think I could get much happier.

I have amazing friends. I would simply walk to Mordor for my loved ones, for Light's sake! (No, that wasn't nerdy, not at all!) I'm grateful that things are going so smoothly. I know how rough life can feel sometimes, and the contrast between me a few years ago and me today is HUGE. I love it. I've grown a lot. Yes, I still act like a pampered little princess sometimes but hey, that's how I am, that's how I was brought up. I try not to let the less appealing sides of my personality really get on anyones nerves - I detest fighting - but I'm still human (more or less, at least).

I have my family, my friends who are like a second family to me, Bear and myself. I have the Gods behind me and the Earth beneath my feet whatever happens. Even though there still will be rough times ahead, I know now that they will pass. The night is always followed by the dawn. As the Sun rises, I will rise too. It's how life cycles. From winter to spring, night to day, death to birth (at least in my books)... I think it's really quite beautiful. The incredible balance. The knowledge that the very simple fact that you have a problem tells that there is a solution. It might take time to find that solution - for me, it took years - but one day you'll feel the sun on your skin again. Just hope and trust.
Love, hope and trust.